If you thought this post was going be R rated, I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed. Instead, it will be very much a G, since it’s about the preschool series, The Stinky & Dirty Show.
This happens to actually be my third post about this pair of animated trucks (there was this one, and that was followed up by this one). But it’s relevant once more, since August 23rd marked the latest drop of episodes on Amazon Prime.
Not Andy Dick.
The two episodes I wrote with Rhonda Smiley in this batch feature another pair of notable performers (I know it really shouldn’t matter, but I do love writing for performers of note).
In “Monster Breakthrough,” Tom Kenny (SpongeBob SquarePants, 3 Below: Tales of Arcadia) plays the fun-loving, but easily-frightened, Monster Truck.
In “A Case of the Sputters,” Andy Richter (Conan, Madagascar) voices the heroic Fire Engine, Brave.
The truth is, in addition to the thrill of having performers I admire actually speaking dialogue I’ve written, it’s helpful in self-promotion. While it might feel a little weird… maybe vain… probably narcissistic… self-promotion has become an essential part of the modern writer’s toolbox.
Not an actual fire truck
Don’t shy away from it, if possible. Highlight your work, your network, and especially any recognizable names involved.
Employers and fans alike should be able to easily find these things online. For prospective employers, the more impressive things they see, the more appealing a candidate you become (good writing is the primary attribute, of course, but everything helps. Everything. It’s a competitive field).
Speaking of things to promote, I also just found out that Stinky & Dirty won a 2018 Parents’ Choice Gold Award from the Parents’ Choice Foundation.
“Good lessons about perseverance pervade the series. Stinky and Dirty also highlight the fact that communication is important and that solving problems successfully can be very rewarding.”
Very rewarding indeed. I guess they’re doing something right. I’m glad I get to play a small part.
I didn’t write a post last month and was on the verge of missing my June deadline too.
It’s so easy to get buried by life sometimes.
For me it was a flurry of little things. Not all of them negative, but still… Enough of them and it can really take a toll on your schedule.
There was the push to get a publisher for Blowback, my day-job fluctuation, possible interest in a script, a friend’s injury, the death of a refrigerator, surgery on my dog’s paw, a Sisyphean attempt to clean the garage, and – of course – a trip to Batuu.
So this month, instead of my usual witty (yes, witty) musings, I give you a picture of my dog, Jojo, after he came home from his aforementioned procedure.
(He’s still rehabbing now, but feeling much better, thanks)
An adorably dazed Jojo (photo courtesy of his mommy, Rhonda Smiley)
As the oft-repeated saying goes, a career is a Marathon, not a sprint.
But really, pretty much everything – other than a sprint – isn’t a sprint.
In the same vein, the most obvious marathon is an actual 26.2 mile marathon itself, no analogy needed.
Well, 20 years after my previous actual marathon, I once again “ran” (read: traveled by foot) the Los Angeles Marathon at the end of last month.
It may take another 20 years to recover, but I did cross the finish line under my own power. It was hard. It was stressful. It was long. But more than anything, determination and perseverance are what got me through.
Similarly, I’ve been running my screenwriting career marathon for quite a few years now. As with the literal version, determination and perseverance are the primary forces getting me through.
So lets milk these metaphors dry.
To have a chance of building your own screenwriting career, you need to push past the exhaustion of working a day job while still putting in the hours for your creative work. Writers have to write.
You have to block out the pain of dry spells when paying gigs are nowhere to be be found. Be prepared when the opportunities arise.
You must embrace every bit of encouragement from the sidelines to soldier on in the face of impossible odds. No kind word is too insignificant, no motivation too small.
You need to lance the blisters of rejection to… er… well…
Ah, hell, you get the idea.
If you just keep putting one metaphorical foot in front of the other, you’ll eventually get to the metaphorical finish line.
Which, in this analogy, is success. Start stretching.
This particular release includes “The Neverending Race,” which is the first of three episodes Rhonda and I wrote for the series.
Although it’s always great to get an assignment for a show, it’s even cooler when you find out that the words you type will ultimately come out of the mouths of some amazing actors. “Name-brands,” even!
Featured performers in our episode include Joan Cusack (Shameless, Toy Story 2, 3, & 4) as Red, and Academy Award Winner, Whoopi Goldberg (Ghost, Sister Act) as Meg.
Stinky. Red. Dirty.
The moment we got the offer from longtime friend, Guy Toubes (Executive Producer on the show), we jumped at the opportunity. To begin with, we never turn down legitimate writing work. We’re not crazy (not that kind of crazy, anyway). But beyond that, it was our first chance to work on a show produced specifically for a streaming service.
Unlike a lot of freelance writing work, where pitches and notes are primarily done via email, Stinky & Dirty also involved a meeting with real human beings in a brick and mortar structure known as an “office.”
This particular office was a conference room at Amazon Studios in Santa Monica. A word about Amazon Studios. Several, actually. They don’t kid around over there with security. It felt somewhat reminiscent of trying to break into – or perhaps out of – a high-security military facility in a sci-fi movie.
It’s all a bit of a blur at this point, but I think it might’ve involved a DNA sample, retina scan… possibly a body cavity search. On the other hand, we got breakfast. So that’s a net positive.
Once safely inside, we broke the story with Guy and Story Editor, Rick Suvalle, along with the help of assistant (and writer) Zac. Also, a whiteboard.
As a group, coming up with ideas on the spot allows you to feed off all the creative minds in the room. You can build on each other’s pitches, finding the best solutions to problems that crop up. It’s also kinda fun.
On top of all that, they even paid us for it. Good times.
So if you’ve got any preschool kids who love them some talking trucks, you know where to turn… The Stinky & Dirty Show!
The Elmwood in Queens – My first neighborhood theater
So if you have the internet, you’ve probably seen this “challenge” over the past few months (years?) on Facebook. Maybe participated yourself.
I was twice “nominated” (thanks Charlie Unger and Tim Bogart), but hadn’t taken the bait. Yet. The task is overwhelming.
The directive itself varies a bit, but here’s the couple I was invited to:
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Post an image from 10 favorite movies with no explanation and pin the challenge on another person each day.
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10 films that made an impact on you the first time you saw them and are still on your watch list, even if only now and then. Post the poster, no need to explain and nominate a person each day to do the same.
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Let’s get this out the way right up front… I’m not doing that. I can’t do that. When you’ve been around for a few decades, and seen more than your share of movies, I don’t know how the hell you could possibly whittle down your favorites to a mere ten.
Sorry, Marie Kondo. A lot more than that have sparked joy.
Instead, I’ll be doing multiples of ten. Along with titles. And a bit of explanation. Clearly I’m not great at following rules.
So maybe grab something to eat. A coffee. Two. I’ve tried to at least minimize the volume by doing some bundling on theme. You’ll see.
(It’ll be pretty clear my formative years were in the 80’s, though I assume the lists for any movie fan will primarily reflect the same for them)
Here we go…
The odds of being at the top are excellent
The first title that pops into my head is always STAR WARS. This will forever be at the top of the list. I was just a kid when it came out, and I couldn’t have loved it more.
It was different than the more “serious” science fiction around at the time, like Star Trek and Space: 1999.
Star Wars was action. Adventure. Laser battles and dog fights. The whole magilla. I group it with its immediate successors, THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and RETURN OF THE JEDI. Yes, even Return of the Jedi.
ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE is my favorite over-the-top comedy. Jim Carrey’s relentless commitment to his character was pure gold. Similar, in regards to being relentlessly over-the-top, is AIRPLANE! A movie unlike any I’d seen before. Silly, parodyic, absurdist. Fantastic.
Everybody relax, I’m here
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA was another revelation. Action, fantasy, and comedy, all wrapped around the bravado performance of Kurt Russell as a guy who just wanted his truck back. To this, I’ll add what I believe is its spiritual sibling – THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI: ACROSS THE EIGHTH DIMENSION. Imminently quotable, imminently weird, and a sort of inside secret with me and my friends. At least until it grew into a cult classic.
For my John Belushi picks, ANIMAL HOUSE definitely takes the giant rolling cake, with a great ensemble and moments galore. Meanwhile, THE BLUES BROTHERS brings along a series of legendary musical cameos and an awesome soundtrack.
The horror never looked so good
War is hell, of course, but it makes a compelling viewing experience.
As a big fan of Eddie Murphy on SNL, it was a thrill when he burst onto the film scene with an early string of instant classics, like 48 HRS., TRADING PLACES, and the best of his best, BEVERLY HILLS COP.
I didn’t really discover Albert Brooks until BROADCAST NEWS, but he was the best part of an already amazing movie. Despite wanting him be with Holly Hunter at the end, I knew it probably wasn’t going to happen.
Thankfully, I got to see him finally get the girl in DEFENDING YOUR LIFE just a few years later. Too bad they were both already dead.
The reaction to the WHEN HARRY MET SALLY… fake orgasm scene was a bit overblown, but it still didn’t detract from the great dialogue and chemistry between Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan.
In the Billy Crystal non-romantic comedy category, CITY SLICKERS will definitely help you find your smile. As I think about it, though, I saw an early test screening, so I’m not even sure what the final product looked like…
Fight the power, with extra pepperoni
I saw DO THE RIGHT THING in Times Square while I was at college, and the entire experience was just electric.
MO’ BETTER BLUES was where my friend, Mike, had his religious experience, but I was pretty enthralled as well.
My favorite Bill Murry is Peter Venkman Bill Murray in GHOSTBUSTERS. True, he’s a bit of a dick, but in a charming, funny way. And what an ensemble alongside him. Close runner ups here are GROUNDHOG DAY and STRIPES (where I first witnessed the deft Ramis/Murray rapport).
In the adventure department, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK was an entirely unique experience for me (despite being an homage to old serials), driven by the ever-charismatic Harrison Ford. And a whip. Also, some snakes.
On a much more intense, bleak, and violent front was the post-apocalyptic THE ROAD WARRIOR. Back then it wasn’t controversial to be mad for Max.
DIE HARD was so good, it spawned its very own action sub-genre, and brought Moonlighting’s David Addison to the big screen in a big way. Odd couple cops were at their peak in LETHAL WEAPON and LETHAL WEAPON 2 (despite Mel Gibson’s glaring character flaws subsequently tarnishing a lot of the shine).
I became a rock and roll vampire myself after watching the THE LOST BOYS, while the same year’s ROBOCOP swirled together a dizzying concoction of violence, satire, and action in New Detroit.
The comedy chemistry between Charles Grodin and Robert DeNiro was off the charts (Travis Bickle, who knew?!). And with it came an abundance of quotable dialogue and some of the best supporting characters around.
Meanwhile, Wanda gave us Kevin Kline’s comic tour-de-force, and a reunion of my favorite Pythons, Cleese and Palin.
Speaking of which, MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL was a thrilling find for me in mid-high school and served as an introduction to the much wider Python world beyond. TIME BANDITS also brought together a trio of Pythons to tell the time-travelling tale of a marauding group of rogue tree designers hunted by the brilliantly hilarious David Warner.
Back before Michael Keaton became drawn to dramas, his fearless comedy parts were the thrill, with MR. MOM and the darker NIGHT SHIFT my personal top two. Tim Burton’s BATMAN may have set him on the track to more serious fare, but he remains my favorite dark knight.
Power(fully witty) couple
Turning Shakespeare from a chore to a draw was MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING, as Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson executed a sparkling comic duel.
I found the joys of the classic road picture in both THE MUPPET MOVIE and PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES. The Muppets proved that Jim Henson and company could imbue a piece of felt with a heart and soul, while Planes, Trains showed John Hughes had what it took to make a “grown-up” movie every bit as great as his high school flicks.
In the indie category, PULP FICTION stands head and shoulders (and maybe even a clavicle or two) above the rest. Crazy, time-shifting, violent, and funny. DOWN BY LAW was an unexpected charmer. Small, offbeat, and wonderful.
ROXANNE is probably most people’s favorite Steve Martin flick. Mine as well, but there was something special about the little taste of magic in L.A. STORY. Living in Southern California at the time may have intensified my connection, but it still comes in a close second. Oh, and THE JERK, of course. Can’t forget The Jerk.
You f**k my wife?
I don’t think a lot of people have seen SLAM DANCE, but it really struck me. Beautiful photography. Wonderfully odd characters and darkly comedic moments. Not to mention an epic performance by Tom Hulce playing a reckless cartoonist accused of murder. What’s not to love?
Speaking of comic actors who got serious (see Keaton, Michael, above), the John Cusack I first became a fan of, was the affable loser of the funny and romantic THE SURE THING and the cartoonishly quirky BETTER OFF DEAD… I miss that guy.
Before getting lost in in Pandora, James Cameron took us on a wild ride in THE TERMINATOR. His bad guy-gone-good turnaround of TERMINATOR II: JUDGEMENT DAY was an excellent twist, spawning another iconic villain in a sequel that more than held its own.
Seriously, don’t just move the tombstones
Although I was never a huge fan of horror films, a few manged to bring something special enough to draw me in and leave a mark.
POLTERGEIST had a big helping of Amblin magic, 1982’s THE THING brought the extreme in both setting and tension, while AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON manged an amazing combination of gore and guffaws. And I can’t forget the very first A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET that introduced us to charismatic child-killer, Frederick Charles Krueger.
THE UNTOUCHABLES serves as my favorite Kevin Costner Film, though BULL DURHAM was also a home run. I even liked Waterworld, but it doesn’t make the cut here.
In the musical category, I loved WEST SIDE STORY even before I saw it, thanks to my parents’ soundtrack album. A HARD DAY’S NIGHT is genuinely funny, and clearly a template for the Monkees TV show. Needless to say, THIS IS SPINAL TAP rates an 11.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t come up with any sort of grouping for the remaining orphans, so here they go, just one after another…
Coolest nerd in town
DANGEROUS LIAISONS(crackling dialogue, delivered crackingly well by Glenn Close and John Malcovich). GOODFELLAS (Joe Pesci makes a meal of it). MY FAVORITE YEAR (before Balki, Mark Linn-Baker had Peter O’Toole). THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (though I wanted a Stewart-Hepburn ending). THE PRINCESS BRIDE (inconceivably wonderful). BACK TO THE FUTURE (1.21 gigawatts of wonderful). SPLASH (did you think I was gonna leave out a Tom Hanks comedy?). RAISING ARIZONA (the best of the Cohen Brothers comedies). REAL GENIUS (I still hang my sunglasses from the back of my collar). RED DAWN (who didn’t want to be a Wolverine? Preferably one that didn’t die). YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (you can have Blazing Saddles, this is the one for me). UNFORGIVEN (wrenching, intense, and so very, very good).
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How about you? Any of these in your top ten? Top fifty? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
It’s still January. If barely. What are you gonna do about it?
The New Year traditionally brings with it high hopes and bold resolutions (some that might border on the delusional).
I’m not really the resolutions type, personally (just ask my waistline). But I do think the turn of the calendar is a great time to set some goals.
Obviously you want to survive. Pay your bills. Maybe eat.
But what are your creative goals? Your writing goals? What do you want to have achieved when 2020 finally rolls around?
LONG TERM GOALS
These are the big ones. The ones that cover a twelve month span. Regardless, they still need to be realistic, or you’re just going to disappoint yourself.
Do you think you can finish a novel in a year? Maybe a couple of spec screenplays. How about a pilot script and treatment for a television show?
If you’re thinking this is the year you get involved in production, maybe you shoot a couple of short films and submit to festivals.
While you’re putting together that to-do list, simultaneously do a little self examination as to what you’re honestly capable of. Don’t plan on achieving everything you could possibly achieve in the best case scenario.
Very few people find themselves even best case scenario-adjacent.
SHORT TERM GOALS
These are the steps you’ll take to reach your long term goals.
Get clickety clacking, people.
What do you need to get done every month to hit your year-end targets? Three chapters of prose? Twenty pages of dialogue? Ten minutes of storyboards?
Again, realistic goals are the key. That isn’t to say you make having a sandwich your ambition. You’re trying to get things done. Challenge yourself, but don’t kill yourself.
EVEN SHORTER?
Every week or even every day, what are you going to do to hit your short term goals? Is there a time or a place where you’re more productive? Are you an early bird or a night owl? Maybe a third type of bird? Do you like the quiet of your bedroom or the bustle of a coffee house? Race track?
What are you doing to make sure you stay recharged and excited about creating?
MOVE THE GOALPOSTS (IN A GOOD WAY)
Halfway through the year, re-evaluate. How far did you get? What was harder than you thought it would be, and what was easier?
Now re-set your goals based on what you’ve learned about yourself and your output.
Above all, remember that you’re not a machine. It’s not only okay, but essential that you’re simultaneously living your life, learning new things, and sharing laughs with people whose company brings out the best in you.
Okay, that’s all for now. It’s time to make some plans.
3Below, the second chapter in Guillermo del Toro’s animated Tales of Arcadia, dropped on Netflix this December 21st, to glowing reviews (pun intended).
AC Bradley, 3Below’s Head Writer, is no stranger to accolades. In addition to her work on the CW’sArrow, she’s been knee-deep in Arcadia since the connected universe first bloomed to series life with the critically acclaimed Trollhunters in 2016.
Her three seasons on staff there culminated in the team picking up an Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing in an Animated Program earlier this year.
She took time out of her holiday to answer a few questions about her experiences in the business in general and in the Arcadia universe in particular…
What’s your writing “origin story?” Do you remember the first thing you wrote that wasn’t a school assignment?
I was born and raised in the Bronx, New York. I had an amazing childhood, but about as far from the glamour of Hollywood as one can get. As for “origin moments” go, nothing can beat watching Die Hard for the first time. I was only 6 years old. I had a nightmare while staying at my aunt’s house, so I snuck into my cousin’s bedroom. Daniel was 10 and therefore my idol. He should’ve been sleeping, but instead he was watching Die Hard on an illegal HBO hook-up. That was it. Die Hard was my gateway drug. After that, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Lethal Weapon… I loved them all.
What do you consider your professional “big break,” and how did it come about?
Every writer has about a dozen “small” breaks that you just pray will snowball into a career. To pick one, I’d say my friendship with Marc Guggenheim. 3Below is probably the fifth project we’ve worked on together in almost eight years. Marc and his wife, Tara Butters (a showrunner in her own right), have been amazing and generous friends and mentors to not only me, but other writers. They’re the best people.
The Tales of Arcadia continue in 3Below
What were the biggest changes for you when you “graduated” from Staff Writer on “Trollhunters” to Head Writer on “3 Below?”
By the final season of Trollhunters, I was handling all revisions and rewriting entire episodes, so there wasn’t a huge change between Trollhunters and 3Below. The biggest difference was that I was now a de facto showrunner having to deal with budget, schedule, and production issues.
What episode of “Trollhunters” or “3 Below” was your favorite to write?
On Trollhunters, “Where Is My Mind” was the most fun to write. Come on? Nightmare-inducing Tinkerbelles, what’s not to love? But I’m most proud of “House Divided.” I wrote that in the weeks after Anton Yelchin’s death. I had only met him twice, but he was and will forever be my Jim Lake Jr. I was grateful to have a creative outlet during that time.
As for 3Below… The dirty secret of being a head writer is that you write a bit on every script. My favorite moments were Steve and Aja’s budding romance, and Aja and Krel’s relationship. My sister is my best friend, but we’ve been known to pull each other’s hair. To explore that sibling dynamic was a blast.
I’ve read a lot of raves online about both Aja and Zadra in “3 Below.” How important is it to have strong female characters, especially in the world today?
Great question! Let me unpack it a bit. Yes. It seems like the world and Hollywood have finally realized that “hey, women like genre films too!” We’re finally getting female and people of color as the leads in tentpole movies. Wonder Woman. Black Panther. It’s both fantastic and about damn time.
Zadra (voiced by Hayley Atwell) fights the good fight in 3Below
Now when it comes to writing strong female characters, it’s not about the ass kicking. A strong character, whether they are male or female, is multi-faceted with their own point of view. Their choices and opinions should affect the story. Kelly Sue DeConnick’s “sexy lamp test” sums up the issue best: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story stays the same… well, then that’s not a strong character and your story can use another draft.
Aja and Zadra are definite bad-asses, but hopefully they are strong characters due to their drives and arcs. Aja was a rebel princess constantly running from her crown, but she becomes a young warrior eager to fight for her home and people. Zadra was a career soldier who becomes a spy and rebel. Credit must also go to the character designer, Linda Chen, and the actors, Tatiana Maslany and Hayley Atwell, for fully bringing those women to life.
3Below tackles quite a few current social issues – racism, ageism, xenophobia, etc. Is it a struggle to incorporate those ideas without coming across as preachy or didactic?
The writers room officially opened in November 2016, days after the Trump election. So yes, I shared many conversations with Marc Guggenheim and Guillermo del Toro about how best to discuss immigration and racism. You want to encourage conversation and social change, but keep it light hearted. We’re here to entertain children (and adults). Like the first episodes of Trollhunters, we kept 3Below light in tone, but dark thematically.
You’re doing something right if you find yourself on a SDCC Panel
For the writers, 3Below became our outlet. Instead of
screaming at the news or on Twitter, we would write. Arcadia represents the
world that we want our kids to live in – where immigrants can build new homes,
where the cops are your friends and neighbors, and where school is always a
safe haven (until extraterrestrial lightning bugs attack).
Is there a story or existing property you’ve always dreamed of being a part of? Rebooting, Restarting, or Reinventing?
Oh, boy. Well, I love comic books, and am a huge fan of Marvel movies. But if I had to choose… well, my sister gave me DC’s Under The Red Hood a few years ago, and I fell in love. So if anyone at WB is reading…
What movie or television show do you consider your guilty pleasure?
Season 7 of the West Wing. I know the first four seasons are the best, but that last season is my happy place.
What kind of advice would you give to writers looking to follow in your footsteps?
Wear flats because the path is hella rocky. Also read. Never stop reading. My career has gone up in flames like poop-in-a-paper-bag on a doorstep, but it was always reading that saved me and will continue to save me. We show up at the keyboard because we want to tell a good story.
Krel and Aja make their first appearance in Trollhunters Season 3
SHORT ATTENTION SPAN ROUND
Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?
Dunkin
Do you prefer your margaritas frozen or over ice?
Over ice with salt
Chocolate Chip or Oatmeal Raisin?
Raisins are the gerbil poop of the fruit world. Chocolate
Chip all the way
Thanks for taking the time, AC. Other than “Yankees” (which, as a Mets fan, is never the right answer), you came through with flying colors.
Be sure to check out the very first season of 3Below, streaming now on Netflix, and catch up with all three seasons of Trollhunters for the full Tales of Arcadia experience!
Checked the mail a couple of weeks ago and there it was – a glorious padded envelope just the right size and thickness.
Screener Season had arrived.
If you’re lucky enough to get into an industry guild, or academy, or several other specialized collectives – and you’re eligible to vote for awards – the holidays come early.
Screener Season Pace Setter
Beginning late fall (and apparently sometimes sooner) the DVDs start rolling in. Well, they don’t actually roll, of course. That would be a seriously negligent way of distributing them. But they come nevertheless. Often.
Several times a week there’s another delivery of a recent / current / sometimes not-yet-released movie vying for award consideration. Sure, the studios have modernized the process and made some films available to stream online. But frankly, it doesn’t have the same magic as getting package after package in the mail.
As it happens, I’m in an alphabet soup of organizations – WGAw, SAG-AFTRA, MPEG – that are part of most studios’ distribution lists. You need to have been doing covered work within a recent window of time to get screeners from some of those groups. Others will keep coming in perpetuity, provided the member just stays current with their dues.
Since it’s hard to know what the future holds, it’s best to enjoy what you’ve got for as long as you’ve got it!
Now, there are some downsides.
For one, it won’t be too long before there’s a teetering stack of award hopefuls just waiting to be popped into that player drawer. That’s a lot of pressure. Not to mention a serious injury risk.
The truth is, it’s almost impossible to watch every film that comes in the mail. But by the time the nominations are set, at least, the list of relevant titles will have been whittled down to a more digestible amount.
Then it’s just time to bring on the popcorn. And a critical eye, natch.
Once the frenzy of award season is over, and all the hardware has been distributed to the lucky few, the job of screener destruction begins. These things are all watermarked, and if one of them finds its way to some online torrent site, this party could end right quick.
Turns out snapping a DVD in half is noteasy, and feels more than a little dangerous without a full face helmet. Instead, I’ve taken to scratching the crap out of the back of them with a pair of scissors.
There’s no real wrong way, of course, as long as they can’t be played again. And you live to tell the tale. Have fun with it!
I guess the real point here is that you don’t have to become massively rich and famous to still get some industry perks. I would prefer to be massively rich and famous, but – in the meantime – I’ll take the screeners.
Before you ask, though… you can’t borrow any, sorry. Frankly, you can’t be trusted.
I enjoy coffee. Like a lot of people (the ones I can relate to, anyway), I need coffee to remain upright, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
I also enjoy breakfast. Probably too much. Highlights of my weekend are Saturday and Sunday morning meals out. And some form of waffle is frequently at the top of my order.
But it’s not always smooth sailing. When you find yourself with a partially empty coffee cup, do you want a new pour? Or do you want to wait until it hits bottom? Maybe a partial pour is required because your cup’s gone cold. Maybe you’re gonna want some more later, but not until you get through another third of your hash browns.
How does one navigate this minefield? Up until now, we’ve tiptoed, stumbled around, and occasionally exploded.
So, what to do?
The solution is meat. Well, meat-related. More specifically, Churrascaria-related.
Photo courtesy of someone named Jesse D. on Yelp
If you’ve never been to one, a Churrascaria is a Brazilian steakhouse where servers constantly do rounds to the various tables with giant skewers of assorted meat.
As part of this procedure, the restaurants provide each party with a card or little wooden doodad (“Meat Stick Indicator,” according to my friend, Josh). You use this to turn on and off the “meat spigot.”
Flip it green side up and the loaded skewers keep coming. Flip it red side up and they skip by while your arteries catch their breath.
I think you can see where I’m going with this.
What all breakfast and brunch restaurants need is a set of their own Meat Stick Indicators. Or rather, a Coffee Stick Indicator™.
This way, you only get coffee when you’re ready. And it’s never just moments after you’ve concocted the perfect blend of creamer and caffeine (and possibly sweetener, if that’s your thing).
It’s small change, sure, but an important one. Progress isn’t always easy, but it helps when it comes with a steaming cup of joe.
It’s already been a couple of months, but I still haven’t quite recovered.
Sure, the San Diego Comic-Con is a cool place. A fascinating place.
But it’s a lot.
A lot of people, a lot of walking, and a hell of a lot of heat.
If you haven’t been there in person, you’ve almost definitely seen pictures or video. It’s a pretty popular event.
Actually, most of the time, SDCC feels a bit too popular. There are so many people, it’s a chore to shuffle through most aisles. And if you ever stop to rest or eat, you’re constantly told by staff that you need to keep moving, or you’re in the fire aisle, or that’s not a bathroom, sir.
Somewhere in there is Jason Momoa’s head. Possibly more. It was really hard to see.
The ubiquitous cosplay is crazy impressive, but also all-too-frequently baffling.
I don’t know how geeky you need to be to even get a passing grade in identifying the majority.
There are so many different areas people are drawing from – comics, cartoons, anime, movies, television, and video games (not to mention the hybrids and riffs) – that you need an advanced degree in pop culture to have a working knowledge of every one.
Sadly, snacks here will not be your salvation. The on-site food game is pretty grim. Most people seem to wisely exit to downtown San Diego for meals of substance, but if you’re trying to stay in the convention center to maximize your time (and minimize your perspiration), you better have a low bar for pizza.
Rhonda and I have never even tried to stay at a hotel, but I hear finding rooms is quite the battle. Instead, we’ve always driven down from the L.A. area in the morning and it’s a looong haul.
Finally, a clear shot of Momoa.
Finding a place to park was actually pretty easy (we booked ahead of time), but it’s a steamy walk to the convention center itself.
Despite being on-theme, I definitely don’t envy the guys making their way in full Sandtrooper armor (okay, I do kinda envy them, but not for the heat).
On the other hand….
There’s a lot of cool stuff to see. And buy. Possibly both.
And, or course, the legendary panels, populated by a who’s who of the genre world (which seem to run non-stop the entire time).
Also Artists’ Alley, filled with amazing creators just waiting to sign a cover or create a commission to order. Your very own one-of-a-kind collectible.
Not to mention, almost everyone I know goes with regularity.
Yeah, it’s probably worth another try or two. Especially if next year Rhonda and I are there behind our own table with Blowback the whole weekend.
Yeah, that’s the way to do it.
Never too early to make some hotel reservations…
Just walking the aisles, we stumbled onto a full-blown Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. panel in the middle of the hall.
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