[SPOTLIGHT] The (Award Winning) Stinky & Dirty Show

Onscreen credits never get old

March 22nd marked the drop of the latest episodes of Amazon Prime’s Emmy-Nominated, The Stinky & Dirty Show.

Now, I’ve talked about this show a bit before, so what makes this drop so special?

Simple: Me!

Well, me and Rhonda Smiley, to be more specific.

This particular release includes “The Neverending Race,” which is the first of three episodes Rhonda and I wrote for the series.

Although it’s always great to get an assignment for a show, it’s even cooler when you find out that the words you type will ultimately come out of the mouths of some amazing actors. “Name-brands,” even!

Featured performers in our episode include Joan Cusack (Shameless, Toy Story 2, 3, & 4) as Red, and Academy Award Winner, Whoopi Goldberg (Ghost, Sister Act) as Meg.

Stinky. Red. Dirty.

The moment we got the offer from longtime friend, Guy Toubes (Executive Producer on the show), we jumped at the opportunity. To begin with, we never turn down legitimate writing work. We’re not crazy (not that kind of crazy, anyway). But beyond that, it was our first chance to work on a show produced specifically for a streaming service.

The future is now, yo.

Unlike a lot of freelance writing work, where pitches and notes are primarily done via email, Stinky & Dirty also involved a meeting with real human beings in a brick and mortar structure known as an “office.”

This particular office was a conference room at Amazon Studios in Santa Monica. A word about Amazon Studios. Several, actually. They don’t kid around over there with security. It felt somewhat reminiscent of trying to break into – or perhaps out of – a high-security military facility in a sci-fi movie.

It’s all a bit of a blur at this point, but I think it might’ve involved a DNA sample, retina scan… possibly a body cavity search. On the other hand, we got breakfast. So that’s a net positive.

Once safely inside, we broke the story with Guy and Story Editor, Rick Suvalle, along with the help of assistant (and writer) Zac. Also, a whiteboard.

As a group, coming up with ideas on the spot allows you to feed off all the creative minds in the room. You can build on each other’s pitches, finding the best solutions to problems that crop up. It’s also kinda fun.

On top of all that, they even paid us for it. Good times.

So if you’ve got any preschool kids who love them some talking trucks, you know where to turn… The Stinky & Dirty Show!

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[THREE CENTS] The 10 Day Movie Challenge

The Elmwood in Queens – My first neighborhood theater

So if you have the internet, you’ve probably seen this “challenge” over the past few months (years?) on Facebook. Maybe participated yourself.

I was twice “nominated” (thanks Charlie Unger and Tim Bogart), but hadn’t taken the bait. Yet. The task is overwhelming.

The directive itself varies a bit, but here’s the couple I was invited to:


Post an image from 10 favorite movies with no explanation and pin the challenge on another person each day.


10 films that made an impact on you the first time you saw them and are still on your watch list, even if only now and then. Post the poster, no need to explain and nominate a person each day to do the same.


Let’s get this out the way right up front… I’m not doing that. I can’t do that. When you’ve been around for a few decades, and seen more than your share of movies, I don’t know how the hell you could possibly whittle down your favorites to a mere ten.

Sorry, Marie Kondo. A lot more than that have sparked joy.

Instead, I’ll be doing multiples of ten. Along with titles. And a bit of explanation. Clearly I’m not great at following rules.

So maybe grab something to eat. A coffee. Two. I’ve tried to at least minimize the volume by doing some bundling on theme. You’ll see.

(It’ll be pretty clear my formative years were in the 80’s, though I assume the lists for any movie fan will primarily reflect the same for them)

Here we go…

The odds of being at the top are excellent

The first title that pops into my head is always STAR WARS. This will forever be at the top of the list. I was just a kid when it came out, and I couldn’t have loved it more.

It was different than the more “serious” science fiction around at the time, like Star Trek and Space: 1999.

Star Wars was action. Adventure. Laser battles and dog fights. The whole magilla. I group it with its immediate successors, THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and RETURN OF THE JEDI. Yes, even Return of the Jedi.

ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE is my favorite over-the-top comedy. Jim Carrey’s relentless commitment to his character was pure gold. Similar, in regards to being relentlessly over-the-top, is AIRPLANE! A movie unlike any I’d seen before. Silly, parodyic, absurdist. Fantastic.

Everybody relax, I’m here

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA was another revelation. Action, fantasy, and comedy, all wrapped around the bravado performance of Kurt Russell as a guy who just wanted his truck back. To this, I’ll add what I believe is its spiritual sibling – THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI: ACROSS THE EIGHTH DIMENSION. Imminently quotable, imminently weird, and a sort of inside secret with me and my friends. At least until it grew into a cult classic.

For my John Belushi picks, ANIMAL HOUSE definitely takes the giant rolling cake, with a great ensemble and moments galore. Meanwhile, THE BLUES BROTHERS brings along a series of legendary musical cameos and an awesome soundtrack.

The horror never looked so good

War is hell, of course, but it makes a compelling viewing experience.

The stylistic APOCALYPSE NOW stands above the rest, but a string of others, including FULL METAL JACKET, PLATOON, SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, and SCHINDLER’S LIST, all brought a unique perspective of life under fire.

As a big fan of Eddie Murphy on SNL, it was a thrill when he burst onto the film scene with an early string of instant classics, like 48 HRS., TRADING PLACES, and the best of his best, BEVERLY HILLS COP.

And then there’s the wonderful John Hughes. I think I had a religious experience at THE BREAKFAST CLUB, but SIXTEEN CANDLES, and FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF are also absolute standouts. “Never had one lesson!”

This feels right, right?

I didn’t really discover Albert Brooks until BROADCAST NEWS, but he was the best part of an already amazing movie. Despite wanting him be with Holly Hunter at the end, I knew it probably wasn’t going to happen.

Thankfully, I got to see him finally get the girl in DEFENDING YOUR LIFE just a few years later. Too bad they were both already dead.

The reaction to the WHEN HARRY MET SALLY… fake orgasm scene was a bit overblown, but it still didn’t detract from the great dialogue and chemistry between Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan.

In the Billy Crystal non-romantic comedy category, CITY SLICKERS will definitely help you find your smile. As I think about it, though, I saw an early test screening, so I’m not even sure what the final product looked like…

Fight the power, with extra pepperoni

I saw DO THE RIGHT THING in Times Square while I was at college, and the entire experience was just electric.

MO’ BETTER BLUES was where my friend, Mike, had his religious experience, but I was pretty enthralled as well.

My favorite Bill Murry is Peter Venkman Bill Murray in GHOSTBUSTERS. True, he’s a bit of a dick, but in a charming, funny way. And what an ensemble alongside him. Close runner ups here are GROUNDHOG DAY and STRIPES (where I first witnessed the deft Ramis/Murray rapport).

Launching into outer space again, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY gave us a perfect comedy/action/science fiction blockbuster. Other sci-fi faves include the much-maligned ARMAGEDDON, along with the much revered ALIENS and STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN.

Be wary of a pretty face

In the adventure department, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK was an entirely unique experience for me (despite being an homage to old serials), driven by the ever-charismatic Harrison Ford. And a whip. Also, some snakes.

On a much more intense, bleak, and violent front was the post-apocalyptic THE ROAD WARRIOR. Back then it wasn’t controversial to be mad for Max.

DIE HARD was so good, it spawned its very own action sub-genre, and brought Moonlighting’s David Addison to the big screen in a big way. Odd couple cops were at their peak in LETHAL WEAPON and LETHAL WEAPON 2 (despite Mel Gibson’s glaring character flaws subsequently tarnishing a lot of the shine).

I became a rock and roll vampire myself after watching the THE LOST BOYS, while the same year’s ROBOCOP swirled together a dizzying concoction of violence, satire, and action in New Detroit.

The Litmus Configur-uration

The very same month in 1988 gave us MIDNIGHT RUN and A FISH CALLED WANDA.

The comedy chemistry between Charles Grodin and Robert DeNiro was off the charts (Travis Bickle, who knew?!). And with it came an abundance of quotable dialogue and some of the best supporting characters around.

Meanwhile, Wanda gave us Kevin Kline’s comic tour-de-force, and a reunion of my favorite Pythons, Cleese and Palin.

Speaking of which, MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL was a thrilling find for me in mid-high school and served as an introduction to the much wider Python world beyond. TIME BANDITS also brought together a trio of Pythons to tell the time-travelling tale of a marauding group of rogue tree designers hunted by the brilliantly hilarious David Warner.

Back before Michael Keaton became drawn to dramas, his fearless comedy parts were the thrill, with MR. MOM and the darker NIGHT SHIFT my personal top two. Tim Burton’s BATMAN may have set him on the track to more serious fare, but he remains my favorite dark knight.

Power(fully witty) couple

Turning Shakespeare from a chore to a draw was MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING, as Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson executed a sparkling comic duel.

ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD is more Shakespeare-adjacent, but its crackling dialogue and overall weirdness won me right over.

I found the joys of the classic road picture in both THE MUPPET MOVIE and PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES. The Muppets proved that Jim Henson and company could imbue a piece of felt with a heart and soul, while Planes, Trains showed John Hughes had what it took to make a “grown-up” movie every bit as great as his high school flicks.

In the indie category, PULP FICTION stands head and shoulders (and maybe even a clavicle or two) above the rest. Crazy, time-shifting, violent, and funny. DOWN BY LAW was an unexpected charmer. Small, offbeat, and wonderful.

ROXANNE is probably most people’s favorite Steve Martin flick. Mine as well, but there was something special about the little taste of magic in L.A. STORY. Living in Southern California at the time may have intensified my connection, but it still comes in a close second. Oh, and THE JERK, of course. Can’t forget The Jerk.

You f**k my wife?

I don’t think a lot of people have seen SLAM DANCE, but it really struck me. Beautiful photography. Wonderfully odd characters and darkly comedic moments. Not to mention an epic performance by Tom Hulce playing a reckless cartoonist accused of murder. What’s not to love?

Other thrillers to love are THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS and SE7EN.

Speaking of comic actors who got serious (see Keaton, Michael, above), the John Cusack I first became a fan of, was the affable loser of the funny and romantic THE SURE THING and the cartoonishly quirky BETTER OFF DEAD… I miss that guy.

Before getting lost in in Pandora, James Cameron took us on a wild ride in THE TERMINATOR. His bad guy-gone-good turnaround of TERMINATOR II: JUDGEMENT DAY was an excellent twist, spawning another iconic villain in a sequel that more than held its own.

Seriously, don’t just move the tombstones

Although I was never a huge fan of horror films, a few manged to bring something special enough to draw me in and leave a mark.

POLTERGEIST had a big helping of Amblin magic, 1982’s THE THING brought the extreme in both setting and tension, while AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON manged an amazing combination of gore and guffaws. And I can’t forget the very first A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET that introduced us to charismatic child-killer, Frederick Charles Krueger.

THE UNTOUCHABLES serves as my favorite Kevin Costner Film, though BULL DURHAM was also a home run. I even liked Waterworld, but it doesn’t make the cut here.

In the musical category, I loved WEST SIDE STORY even before I saw it, thanks to my parents’ soundtrack album. A HARD DAY’S NIGHT is genuinely funny, and clearly a template for the Monkees TV show. Needless to say, THIS IS SPINAL TAP rates an 11.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t come up with any sort of grouping for the remaining orphans, so here they go, just one after another…

Coolest nerd in town

DANGEROUS LIAISONS (crackling dialogue, delivered crackingly well by Glenn Close and John Malcovich). GOODFELLAS (Joe Pesci makes a meal of it). MY FAVORITE YEAR (before Balki, Mark Linn-Baker had Peter O’Toole). THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (though I wanted a Stewart-Hepburn ending). THE PRINCESS BRIDE (inconceivably wonderful). BACK TO THE FUTURE (1.21 gigawatts of wonderful). SPLASH (did you think I was gonna leave out a Tom Hanks comedy?). RAISING ARIZONA (the best of the Cohen Brothers comedies). REAL GENIUS (I still hang my sunglasses from the back of my collar). RED DAWN (who didn’t want to be a Wolverine? Preferably one that didn’t die). YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (you can have Blazing Saddles, this is the one for me). UNFORGIVEN (wrenching, intense, and so very, very good).


How about you? Any of these in your top ten? Top fifty? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

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[IN THE TRENCHES] 2020 Vision

New Year. New Plans.

It’s still January. If barely. What are you gonna do about it?

The New Year traditionally brings with it high hopes and bold resolutions (some that might border on the delusional).

I’m not really the resolutions type, personally (just ask my waistline). But I do think the turn of the calendar is a great time to set some goals.

Obviously you want to survive. Pay your bills. Maybe eat.

But what are your creative goals? Your writing goals? What do you want to have achieved when 2020 finally rolls around?


These are the big ones. The ones that cover a twelve month span. Regardless, they still need to be realistic, or you’re just going to disappoint yourself.

Do you think you can finish a novel in a year? Maybe a couple of spec screenplays. How about a pilot script and treatment for a television show?

If you’re thinking this is the year you get involved in production, maybe you shoot a couple of short films and submit to festivals.

While you’re putting together that to-do list, simultaneously do a little self examination as to what you’re honestly capable of. Don’t plan on achieving everything you could possibly achieve in the best case scenario.

Very few people find themselves even best case scenario-adjacent.


These are the steps you’ll take to reach your long term goals.

Get clickety clacking, people.

What do you need to get done every month to hit your year-end targets? Three chapters of prose? Twenty pages of dialogue? Ten minutes of storyboards?

Again, realistic goals are the key. That isn’t to say you make having a sandwich your ambition. You’re trying to get things done. Challenge yourself, but don’t kill yourself.


Every week or even every day, what are you going to do to hit your short term goals? Is there a time or a place where you’re more productive? Are you an early bird or a night owl? Maybe a third type of bird? Do you like the quiet of your bedroom or the bustle of a coffee house? Race track?

What are you doing to make sure you stay recharged and excited about creating?


Halfway through the year, re-evaluate. How far did you get? What was harder than you thought it would be, and what was easier?

Now re-set your goals based on what you’ve learned about yourself and your output.

Above all, remember that you’re not a machine. It’s not only okay, but essential that you’re simultaneously living your life, learning new things, and sharing laughs with people whose company brings out the best in you.

Okay, that’s all for now. It’s time to make some plans.

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[IN THE TRENCHES] Turn Up The AC (AC Bradley, That Is)

AC Bradley Emmy for Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia
It’s heavy, sure, but it’s a good heavy

3Below, the second chapter in Guillermo del Toro’s animated Tales of Arcadia, dropped on Netflix this December 21st, to glowing reviews (pun intended).

AC Bradley, 3Below’s Head Writer, is no stranger to accolades. In addition to her work on the CW’s Arrow, she’s been knee-deep in Arcadia since the connected universe first bloomed to series life with the critically acclaimed Trollhunters in 2016.

Her three seasons on staff there culminated in the team picking up an Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing in an Animated Program earlier this year.

She took time out of her holiday to answer a few questions about her experiences in the business in general and in the Arcadia universe in particular…

What’s your writing “origin story?”  Do you remember the first thing you wrote that wasn’t a school assignment?

I was born and raised in the Bronx, New York. I had an amazing childhood, but about as far from the glamour of Hollywood as one can get. As for “origin moments” go, nothing can beat watching Die Hard for the first time. I was only 6 years old. I had a nightmare while staying at my aunt’s house, so I snuck into my cousin’s bedroom. Daniel was 10 and therefore my idol. He should’ve been sleeping, but instead he was watching Die Hard on an illegal HBO hook-up. That was it. Die Hard was my gateway drug. After that, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Lethal Weapon… I loved them all.  

What do you consider your professional “big break,” and how did it come about?

Every writer has about a dozen “small” breaks that you just pray will snowball into a career. To pick one, I’d say my friendship with Marc Guggenheim. 3Below is probably the fifth project we’ve worked on together in almost eight years. Marc and his wife, Tara Butters (a showrunner in her own right), have been amazing and generous friends and mentors to not only me, but other writers. They’re the best people. 

3Below: Tales of Arcadia Poster
The Tales of Arcadia continue in 3Below

What were the biggest changes for you when you “graduated” from Staff Writer on “Trollhunters” to Head Writer on “3 Below?”

By the final season of Trollhunters, I was handling all revisions and rewriting entire episodes, so there wasn’t a huge change between Trollhunters and 3Below. The biggest difference was that I was now a de facto showrunner having to deal with budget, schedule, and production issues.

What episode of “Trollhunters” or “3 Below” was your favorite to write?

On Trollhunters, “Where Is My Mind” was the most fun to write. Come on? Nightmare-inducing Tinkerbelles, what’s not to love? But I’m most proud of “House Divided.” I wrote that in the weeks after Anton Yelchin’s death. I had only met him twice, but he was and will forever be my Jim Lake Jr. I was grateful to have a creative outlet during that time.

As for 3Below… The dirty secret of being a head writer is that you write a bit on every script. My favorite moments were Steve and Aja’s budding romance, and Aja and Krel’s relationship. My sister is my best friend, but we’ve been known to pull each other’s hair. To explore that sibling dynamic was a blast.

I’ve read a lot of raves online about both Aja and Zadra in “3 Below.”  How important is it to have strong female characters, especially in the world today?

Great question! Let me unpack it a bit. Yes. It seems like the world and Hollywood have finally realized that “hey, women like genre films too!” We’re finally getting female and people of color as the leads in tentpole movies. Wonder Woman. Black Panther. It’s both fantastic and about damn time.

Zadra (Hayley Atwell) in 3Below: Tales of Arcadia
Zadra (voiced by Hayley Atwell) fights the good fight in 3Below

Now when it comes to writing strong female characters, it’s not about the ass kicking. A strong character, whether they are male or female, is multi-faceted with their own point of view. Their choices and opinions should affect the story. Kelly Sue DeConnick’s “sexy lamp test” sums up the issue best: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story stays the same… well, then that’s not a strong character and your story can use another draft.

Aja and Zadra are definite bad-asses, but hopefully they are strong characters due to their drives and arcs. Aja was a rebel princess constantly running from her crown, but she becomes a young warrior eager to fight for her home and people. Zadra was a career soldier who becomes a spy and rebel. Credit must also go to the character designer, Linda Chen, and the actors, Tatiana Maslany and Hayley Atwell, for fully bringing those women to life.

3Below tackles quite a few current social issues – racism, ageism, xenophobia, etc.  Is it a struggle to incorporate those ideas without coming across as preachy or didactic?

The writers room officially opened in November 2016, days after the Trump election. So yes, I shared many conversations with Marc Guggenheim and Guillermo del Toro about how best to discuss immigration and racism. You want to encourage conversation and social change, but keep it light hearted. We’re here to entertain children (and adults). Like the first episodes of Trollhunters, we kept 3Below light in tone, but dark thematically.

AC Bradley at San Diego Comic-Con
You’re doing something right if you find yourself on a SDCC Panel

For the writers, 3Below became our outlet. Instead of screaming at the news or on Twitter, we would write. Arcadia represents the world that we want our kids to live in – where immigrants can build new homes, where the cops are your friends and neighbors, and where school is always a safe haven (until extraterrestrial lightning bugs attack).

Is there a story or existing property you’ve always dreamed of being a part of?  Rebooting, Restarting, or Reinventing?

Oh, boy. Well, I love comic books, and am a huge fan of Marvel movies. But if I had to choose… well, my sister gave me DC’s Under The Red Hood a few years ago, and I fell in love. So if anyone at WB is reading…

What movie or television show do you consider your guilty pleasure? 

Season 7 of the West Wing. I know the first four seasons are the best, but that last season is my happy place.

What kind of advice would you give to writers looking to follow in your footsteps?

Wear flats because the path is hella rocky. Also read. Never stop reading. My career has gone up in flames like poop-in-a-paper-bag on a doorstep, but it was always reading that saved me and will continue to save me. We show up at the keyboard because we want to tell a good story.

Krel and Aja in Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia
Krel and Aja make their first appearance in Trollhunters Season 3


Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?


Do you prefer your margaritas frozen or over ice?

Over ice with salt

Chocolate Chip or Oatmeal Raisin?

Raisins are the gerbil poop of the fruit world. Chocolate Chip all the way

What’s your favorite holiday song?

All Alone on Christmas by Darlene Love from the Home Alone 2 soundtrack.

Team Heat Miser or Team Cold Miser?


Deep Dish or Thin Crust?

Thin crust

Thanks for taking the time, AC. Other than “Yankees” (which, as a Mets fan, is never the right answer), you came through with flying colors.

Be sure to check out the very first season of 3Below, streaming now on Netflix, and catch up with all three seasons of Trollhunters for the full Tales of Arcadia experience!

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[ETCETERA] Screener Season

Checked the mail a couple of weeks ago and there it was – a glorious padded envelope just the right size and thickness.

Screener Season had arrived.

If you’re lucky enough to get into an industry guild, or academy, or several other specialized collectives – and you’re eligible to vote for awards – the holidays come early.

Roxanne Roxanne Screener

Screener Season Pace Setter

Beginning late fall (and apparently sometimes sooner) the DVDs start rolling in.  Well, they don’t actually roll, of course.  That would be a seriously negligent way of distributing them.  But they come nevertheless.  Often.

Several times a week there’s another delivery of a recent / current / sometimes not-yet-released movie vying for award consideration.  Sure, the studios have modernized the process and made some films available to stream online.  But frankly, it doesn’t have the same magic as getting package after package in the mail.

As it happens, I’m in an alphabet soup of organizations – WGAw, SAG-AFTRA, MPEG – that are part of most studios’ distribution lists.  You need to have been doing covered work within a recent window of time to get screeners from some of those groups.  Others will keep coming in perpetuity, provided the member just stays current with their dues.

Since it’s hard to know what the future holds, it’s best to enjoy what you’ve got for as long as you’ve got it!

Now, there are some downsides.

For one, it won’t be too long before there’s a teetering stack of award hopefuls just waiting to be popped into that player drawer.  That’s a lot of pressure.  Not to mention a serious injury risk.

The truth is, it’s almost impossible to watch every film that comes in the mail.  But by the time the nominations are set, at least, the list of relevant titles will have been whittled down to a more digestible amount.

Then it’s just time to bring on the popcorn.  And a critical eye, natch.

Once the frenzy of award season is over, and all the hardware has been distributed to the lucky few, the job of screener destruction begins.  These things are all watermarked, and if one of them finds its way to some online torrent site, this party could end right quick.

Turns out snapping a DVD in half is not easy, and feels more than a little dangerous without a full face helmet.  Instead, I’ve taken to scratching the crap out of the back of them with a pair of scissors.

There’s no real wrong way, of course, as long as they can’t be played again.  And you live to tell the tale.  Have fun with it!

I guess the real point here is that you don’t have to become massively rich and famous to still get some industry perks.  I would prefer to be massively rich and famous, but – in the meantime – I’ll take the screeners.

Before you ask, though…  you can’t borrow any, sorry.  Frankly, you can’t be trusted.

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[THREE CENTS] The Coffee Conundrum and How to Fix it

Coffee Mugs

Keep it coming.  For now.

I enjoy coffee.  Like a lot of people (the ones I can relate to, anyway), I need coffee to remain upright, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

I also enjoy breakfast.  Probably too much.  Highlights of my weekend are Saturday and Sunday morning meals out.  And some form of waffle is frequently at the top of my order.

But it’s not always smooth sailing.  When you find yourself with a partially empty coffee cup, do you want a new pour?  Or do you want to wait until it hits bottom?  Maybe a partial pour is required because your cup’s gone cold.  Maybe you’re gonna want some more later, but not until you get through another third of your hash browns.

How does one navigate this minefield?  Up until now, we’ve tiptoed, stumbled around, and occasionally exploded.

So, what to do?

The solution is meat.  Well, meat-related.  More specifically, Churrascaria-related.

Meat Stick Indicator

Photo courtesy of someone named Jesse D. on Yelp

If you’ve never been to one, a Churrascaria is a Brazilian steakhouse where servers constantly do rounds to the various tables with giant skewers of assorted meat.

As part of this procedure, the restaurants provide each party with a card or little wooden doodad (“Meat Stick Indicator,” according to my friend, Josh).  You use this to turn on and off the “meat spigot.”

Flip it green side up and the loaded skewers keep coming.  Flip it red side up and they skip by while your arteries catch their breath.

I think you can see where I’m going with this.

What all breakfast and brunch restaurants need is a set of their own Meat Stick Indicators.  Or rather, a Coffee Stick Indicator™.

This way, you only get coffee when you’re ready.  And it’s never just moments after you’ve concocted the perfect blend of creamer and caffeine (and possibly sweetener, if that’s your thing).

It’s small change, sure, but an important one.  Progress isn’t always easy, but it helps when it comes with a steaming cup of joe.

I think I’m about ready for a refill.

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[ETCETERA] Comic-Con is a Lot

Morty Coplay

So…  Does this make me Rick?

It’s already been a couple of months, but I still haven’t quite recovered.

Sure, the San Diego Comic-Con is a cool place.  A fascinating place.

But it’s a lot.

A lot of people, a lot of walking, and a hell of a lot of heat.

If you haven’t been there in person, you’ve almost definitely seen pictures or video.  It’s a pretty popular event.

Actually, most of the time, SDCC feels a bit too popular.  There are so many people, it’s a chore to shuffle through most aisles.  And if you ever stop to rest or eat, you’re constantly told by staff that you need to keep moving, or you’re in the fire aisle, or that’s not a bathroom, sir.

Jason Momoa in a crowd

Somewhere in there is Jason Momoa’s head.  Possibly more.  It was really hard to see.

The ubiquitous cosplay is crazy impressive, but also all-too-frequently baffling.

I don’t know how geeky you need to be to even get a passing grade in identifying the majority.

There are so many different areas people are drawing from – comics, cartoons, anime, movies, television, and video games (not to mention the hybrids and riffs) – that you need an advanced degree in pop culture to have a working knowledge of every one.

Sadly, snacks here will not be your salvation.  The on-site food game is pretty grim.  Most people seem to wisely exit to downtown San Diego for meals of substance, but if you’re trying to stay in the convention center to maximize your time (and minimize your perspiration), you better have a low bar for pizza.

Rhonda and I have never even tried to stay at a hotel, but I hear finding rooms is quite the battle.  Instead, we’ve always driven down from the L.A. area in the morning and it’s a looong haul.

Lego Jason Momoa

Finally, a clear shot of Momoa.

Finding a place to park was actually pretty easy (we booked ahead of time), but it’s a steamy walk to the convention center itself.

Despite being on-theme, I definitely don’t envy the guys making their way in full Sandtrooper armor (okay, I do kinda envy them, but not for the heat).

On the other hand….

There’s a lot of cool stuff to see.  And buy.  Possibly both.

And, or course, the legendary panels, populated by a who’s who of the genre world (which seem to run non-stop the entire time).

Also Artists’ Alley, filled with amazing creators just waiting to sign a cover or create a commission to order.  Your very own one-of-a-kind collectible.

Not to mention, almost everyone I know goes with regularity.

Yeah, it’s probably worth another try or two.  Especially if next year Rhonda and I are there behind our own table with Blowback the whole weekend.

Yeah, that’s the way to do it.

Never too early to make some hotel reservations…

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Panel SDCC 2018

Just walking the aisles, we stumbled onto a full-blown Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. panel in the middle of the hall.

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[ETCETERA] You’re Out of Order!

Travolta Staying Alive

At the very least, he was in really great shape.

When you see movies (and in what particular order) has a lot to do with what year you were born.  Sometimes you’re too young.  Sometimes you don’t even know what you’re missing, until much later.

I saw Staying Alive before I ever saw Saturday Night Fever (full disclosure: I still haven’t seen Saturday Night Fever).

I saw Jaws 2 before 1 (edited for TV, no less).

I saw The Road Warrior before Mad Max.  Though, I’m gonna guess that most people did at the time.

In my defense, we didn’t have HBO in our house.  Or even cable, actually (we did have food and running water, though, so there’s no need to call Child Protection Services).

But even for the cable-laden, there was still no Netflix or Bit-Torrent.  If you had missed it, you couldn’t just navigate through your on-demand menu and catch up with the original movie before you went to the theater to see the sequel (or the second, or third).

Jaws 2 Poster

Just stay clear of the ocean forever, got it.

Maybe you could find a copy at the local video store, but even those were limited by shelf space and popularity.

It wasn’t ideal, sure, but it was all we knew.

As a screenwriter, you might actually end up penning a sequel one day (maybe to your own hit movie).  If you get that opportunity, how will you bring your new audience up to speed without boring or alienating your previous one?

It’s not really an unusual concept.

There’s a series of novels I read as a kid about a young detective, called Encyclopedia Brown.  At the beginning of every book there was a paragraph or two that laid out the backstory.  Virtually verbatim every time.

It was a little annoying, but I understood it was for newcomers.

Until about a decade ago, television shows had the main title sequence to get viewers up to speed on the premise, frequently in song (“Here’s the story, of a man named, Brady…”).  Less so these days, where a “long” main title runs about fifteen seconds.

Encyclopedia Brown Boy Detective Book Cover

Like Veronica Mars, but 30 years earlier

In movies, though, the paradigm doesn’t really allow for a theme song or a “Last time on…” recap.

So, is there a standard formula to initiate the late-adopters to a sequel?  If there is, I don’t know it (feel free to enlighten me in the comments if you’ve heard otherwise).

Personally, I feel like the the best strategy is to make the sequel stand on its own.  Almost as if it’s the very first movie with these characters.

Sure you should include some callbacks and references from previous films, but don’t make knowledge of those things essential to enjoying this particular chapter.

Easier said than done, naturally.  Of course, if it was easy, everybody’d be doing it.

Sorry, what?  Everybody is already doing it?  Huh.  Okay, well, back to whatever you were up to before this.

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[THREE CENTS] Responsibility to Your Audience

Muppet Movie Audience

These guys are relying on you to do the right thing.

As writers, most of us work to create scripts with compelling stories, three-dimensional characters, and authentic-sounding dialogue.  But what else should be on our checklist?

After all, screenplays – and the resulting movies, television, and web content – aren’t designed solely for the author to express themselves.  They’re made for an audience.  So what kind of responsibility do we have to them?

Do you owe them a satisfying resolution?*  Do you owe them loose ends tied up?**  Do you owe them a coherent through-line?***

Or should you be able to just follow your muse and let it take you wherever and however the hell it wants?

Obviously there’s no objectively right answer.

In most cases, professional writers are under the supervision of story editors, producers, and network executives.  For them, it’s all about serving the audience (along with sponsors, and the bottom line, of course).

But what if you had the option to do anything that popped into your head?  Maybe you’ve got a rich relative sponsoring your project.  Maybe the rich one sponsoring your project is you.  Do you have to worry about the audience then?  Or – damn the torpedoes – should you just make your art without any restrictions whatsoever?

Last American Virgin Final Shot

Wait, this isn’t the end, right?  You can’t end it like this, right?  Right?!

When I was a lot younger, my friends and I rented the movie, The Last American Virgin.  In the age of Porky’s and Fast Times at Ridgemont High, it was promoted as a sexy comedic romp.

It was not.

Sure it started out as a wacky comedy.  But in the end, the hero was dumped by the girl of his dreams (who he had helped out of a dire situation), who then hooked back up with the hero’s best friend (who was the one that had put her in the dire situation to begin with).  The last image in the movie was was the kid just driving alone, devastated.


Sure, that may be the way a Sundance indie drama ends, but not this.  Not with a complete 180 in tone.  This is an abuse of your viewers.

Speaking of madness, perhaps you’ve seen 2017’s Twin Peaks: the Return?

I don’t care how much of a craving you have for Twinkies, keep driving…

I was a big fan of the original series, though I felt that Fire Walk with Me was a big miss. Nevertheless, I was excited for the latest iteration.  At least until I started watching it.

All indications are that David Lynch was allowed to do whatever he wanted with those 18 episodes.  It showed.

While some super-fans might feel it was some brilliant expression of a mad genius, the rest of us were left dumbfounded at the relentless craziness that seemed to have no discernible rhyme or reason.

As a creator, you can get away with some quirky, crazy bits.  That might be your “voice” as a writer that makes you stand out.  But when it’s the majority of the narrative, and there’s no way for anyone else to clearly comprehend what the hell it means in the story (or even what the story is), then you’ve done something wrong.

I think it’s pretty clear that for me, writers need to care about their audience.  Certainly if they want them to ever be their audience again.

No, you don’t need to rigidly create a happy ending.  No, you don’t have to dumb things down, or mimic a classic paradigm.

Your story can make them think.  It can make them work.

But it definitely shouldn’t leave them staring at the screen and thinking: WTF?



***also yes

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[IN THE TRENCHES] The Ensemble: Divide and Conquer

Avengers: Infinity War Poster

They barely fit on the poster.  Now you’ve got to give them all something to do?

Like the rest of the industrialized world, I caught a showing of Avengers: Infinity War over the weekend.  It was pretty great, actually.  More or less lived up to the impossible expectations.

(No pressure, Solo).

In addition to a sizable portion of excellent (funny) dialogue, one of the things writers Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely did best was effectively service its large cast of characters.  So what’s the secret to juggling all that talent?

Divide and conquer.

While an ensemble story frequently starts with most of the crew together, staying that way is a problem.  You can’t really just have a crowd of people standing around for the entire duration, taking turns saying one line after another like the feature film equivalent of We Are the World.

Instead, you have to create subgroups and send them each out on their own subgroup quests that ultimately all lead back to a collective climax.

Okay, that sounded a little dirty.

Could be.

Depends on the rating, I guess.

Kuu Kuu Harajuku

Just like Avengers: Infinity War.  Identical, really.

This concept doesn’t just pertain to blockbuster movies, of course.

When Rhonda and I write stories for Kuu Kuu Harajuku – which are each half of a half hour – we have five girls and a band manager that need to be actively involved throughout.  Keeping them all together creates a metaphorical story mosh pit, and a crowded mess.  Break ’em up!

Writing an ensemble piece yourself?  Always divide and conquer.

In the most simplistic of terms: Together at the beginning.  Together at the end.  Split up in the middle.  Of course, there are variations and exceptions to the rule (there always are). But if you’re struggling to service a large group of characters, this is a great way to start.

Okay, get to the Fade In and make some multi-character magic.

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